Unmasking inner saboteurs: the neuroscience of self-sabotage and how to overcome it
Have you ever felt like you were your own worst enemy? Maybe you’ve procrastinated on an important task, harshly criticised yourself for a mistake or avoided taking a risk that could have brought great rewards. These behaviours are not random, they’re the work of your inner saboteurs.
Brought by by Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence, saboteurs are the internalised voices, habits and patterns that undermine our happiness and success. They originate from well-intentioned mechanisms designed to protect us in childhood but often become counterproductive as adults. Thanks to advances in neuroscience and psychology we can now better understand these saboteurs and learn to manage them effectively.
The neuroscience behind saboteurs
Your saboteurs are rooted in the brain’s survival-oriented regions, particularly the amygdala and limbic system. These areas are responsible for detecting threats and triggering fight-or-flight responses. While this system served us well when facing predators in the wild, it’s less helpful when dealing with modern challenges like career growth, relationships or personal goals.
Conversely, the prefrontal cortex and other areas associated with higher-order thinking, empathy and creativity, often referred to as the Sage brain, are where we find resilience, calm and rational decision-making. Saboteurs thrive when we operate from the survival brain, but with awareness and practice, we can shift to our Sage brain to regain control.
Meet the Saboteurs
Shirzad Chamine identifies ten common saboteurs, each with distinct traits and behaviours. Let’s dive deeper into five of the most prevalent ones:
The Judge: This is the mastermind of all saboteurs, constantly criticising you, others or your circumstances. It might say, You’ll never succeed or Why can’t they get it right? For instance, if you’ve missed a deadline, the Judge might berate you for being lazy instead of acknowledging the legitimate challenges you faced.
The Pleaser: While the Pleaser’s intentions come from a desire to help, it often leads to self-neglect and burnout. Imagine saying yes to every task at work, only to find yourself overwhelmed and resentful. The Pleaser whispers, If you say no, they won’t like you anymore.
The Hyper-Achiever: This saboteur ties your self-worth directly to your accomplishments. It thrives on external validation and pushes you to set higher goals. While this might sound productive, the Hyper-Achiever makes it hard to enjoy the journey. You might land a promotion yet immediately feel the pressure to aim for the next one, driven by thoughts like, You’re only as good as your latest success.
The Avoider: Conflict and discomfort are the Avoider’s archnemeses. This saboteur convinces you to postpone or dodge challenging conversations and tasks. For example, if you need to address an underperforming team member, the Avoider might nudge you to focus on "more urgent" tasks instead, perpetuating the issue.
The Stickler: Obsessed with perfection, the Stickler finds flaws in everything, often to the detriment of progress. It might stop you from submitting a project because it’s not “perfect” yet or compel you to spend hours reworking something others already find acceptable. This saboteur says, If it’s not flawless, it’s worthless.
By recognising these saboteurs and their whispers, you can start to see how they manifest in your daily life.
Recognising Saboteurs in action
The first step to overcoming your saboteurs is awareness. Start by observing your thoughts and behaviours. Are you criticising yourself unnecessarily? Overcommitting to please others? Deferring decisions out of fear?
Journaling can help you identify patterns. For instance, if you notice you’re constantly saying yes to requests despite feeling overwhelmed, the Pleaser might be at play. If you’re avoiding a challenging project because it’s not perfect yet, the Stickler could be in charge.
Coping strategies
Label Saboteurs: Simply naming the saboteur (e.g., That’s my Judge speaking) helps distance yourself from its influence.
Activate Sage Brain: Shift focus to your breath, practice mindfulness or engage in activities that promote positive emotions and creativity. Neuroscience shows that such practices strengthen neural pathways in the prefrontal cortex.
Practice Self-Compassion: Research by Dr. Kristin Neff highlights that self-compassion: treating yourself with the same kindness you’d offer a friend, reduces stress and boosts resilience. Replace negative self-talk with supportive affirmations.
Visualize Success: Neuroplasticity studies suggest that imagining positive outcomes can reshape your brain’s wiring. Spend a few minutes each day visualizing yourself overcoming challenges and thriving.
Seek Support: Sharing your experiences with a trusted friend, coach or therapist can provide perspective and accountability.
Moving forward
Your saboteurs are not your enemies; they are outdated survival mechanisms that need recalibration. By recognising their influence and intentionally shifting to your Sage brain, you can transform self-sabotage into self-mastery.
Imagine what you could achieve if your inner critic became your inner coach and your fears gave way to courage. The journey won’t always be easy, but with practice and perseverance you can quiet the saboteurs and unlock your full potential. The question is: Are you ready to take the first step? If you are - I am here to walk by your side. Let’s get in touch :)
